What’s Inside: Bag Lady Edition

I’ve always admired girls who often switch out their purses to match their outfit. They just always seem SO put together, you know? Me on the other hand? Well, I’m more of a Survivor kind of bag gal – I find one that works and then we outwit, outlast, outplay until one of us is voted off the island. I buy one bag and then carry it forever, partially because I’m just not as enthusiastic about purse shopping (shoes have always been my Achilles high heel) but also because I loathe the process of relocating all of my stuff. While I’m not usually as excited about bags themselves, I’m absolutely fascinated by what’s inside them. I mean, we’ve all been out with out friends when we discovered we needed something oddly specific and then watched as a friend Mary Poppins-ed it out of the depths of their purse, right? So with that spirit in mind, here are a few of the things I always carry (you know, in case you need inspo or want to compare notes)

Dollah, dollah bills, y’all: Over the years I’ve learned two things – 1) the brighter the wallet, the more visible it is at the bottom of the pit and 2) wallets that close with snaps instead of zippers are a lot more fun to absentmindedly play with while standing in line at Starbucks.

Good for what ails you: As a girl with terrible headaches and worse cramps, I never travel anywhere without a small bottle of ibuprofen, sinus medication, and period supplies.

Smart phone savior: Portable charger – get one or be sad when your phone dies at the most inopportune moment.

Hanger management: I’d love to say that I’m a three square meals kind of gal, but the truth is I’ve always been more of a grazing, eat-when-hungry type. And let me tell you, if my body rings that meal bell and I don’t answer it straight away? Well, it gets straight up hangry. So, for the safety of the world, I usually keep a snack nearby (you’re welcome).

It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again: In an effort to conceal my true identity as a bird-boned lizard person from the world, I keep hand cream on hand to slather over my scales…er…skin. These tubes from Bath and Body Works come in a bunch of scents (anything with mint and/or lemon are usually slam dunks in my book), are the perfect size and let’s be real, I was already there buying all of the candles my spindly arms can carry so they’re also convenient!

It’s snot what you think: In my experience, there are two things that people never remember until they need them – gum and kleenex. I carry both for me and for you (because sharing is caring and it can be fun).

They’re stuck on me: I’m a perpetual klutz who’s also usually breaking in new shoes, so I’d be an idiot if I didn’t also carry bandaids with me. If I were sensible, they’d be flesh tone… but I’m not, so they’re Star Wars! Life is too short to worry about matching your socks or covering boo boos with boring bandaids, y’all.

And finally of course, I heard you like bags, so I put a bag in your bag: I always try to make sure my makeup bag contains the bare necessities to make me look like a real live human person. When I was younger, I used to carry multiple eyeliners and lip colors, but over the years I’ve honed it down to the essentials:

Get you a tool that does both: I’ve never mastered the art of using my lip color as a cheek tint or eyeshadow, but I comfort myself with the knowledge that if my lipstick isn’t pulling double duty at least my brush/mirror is. Oh, and that little Altoids tin? It’s full of bobby pins and hair ties.

I know it’s a blot: What can I say? Blotting papers keep the Exxon Valdez oil spill on my face at bay.

Curly girl: Alright, alright, carrying an eyelash curler around in my purse is probably a little extra, but I like to think of it as the curtain tie back to the windows to my soul (assuming the lashes are curtains in this metaphor).

Clip art: I found this mini-manicure set on a recent excursion to Bed, Bath, and Beyond and it’s come in super hand-y (see? see what I did there?) whenever I bust a nail midday.

What the smell?: When the weather gets hot and humid, a travel size deodorant and rollerball perfume (I absolutely adore this one by Nest) can be a girl’s best friend.

The eyes have it: When it comes to makeup, I know that get through almost anything if my eyes are done, so my on-the-go makeup usually consists of a little brow mascara (every picture needs at least a quasi-decent frame), liquid liner, and mascara (Maybe one day someone will create one mascara that does everything these two do together, but I’m not holding my breath).

Lip service: I’ve got an embarrassingly large collection of lipsticks and glosses, but these four ride-or-die products are always with me – Fresh’s Sugar tinted lip treatment is the balm dot com, elf’s lip exfoliator is the perfect prep before any lip color application, Revlon’s HD Matte Lipcolor in Devotion is the perfect everyday shade, and Smith’s rosebud salve is a great balm, topper, whatever you need it to be (and it comes in a tube too!)


**Not pictured: My sunglasses (which are always on my head), my phone (which is always in my hand), and Receipt mountain (which is just off camera)


Sugarfix by BaubleBar for Target: Our favorite jewelry giant teaming up with our home away from home for an insanely cute collaboration? Guys, dreams really do come true. From chunky chains to delicate tassels, bold statements to simple ear jackets, this collection has something for everyone (We all have at least one piece, so take it from the experts).

Physician’s Formula liquid eyeliner: The hunt for the perfect eyeliner is not dissimilar to the quest for the perfect white T – You want it to be soft but not flimsy, sharp but not stabby, and most importantly OPAQUE. There’s a lot of trial, error, and tears involved,  but when you find that perfect one? You buy ten of them.

Schitt’s Creek: Once every so often, the Netflix “because you watched _____, you should watch ______” algorithm wears us down and once every so often it really nails it. We weren’t sure why it kept suggesting we chase our Bob’s Burgers bingefest with No Country For Old Men, but this Eugene and Daniel Levy comedy really hits the funny bone (what’s that it also stars Catherine O’Hara? Sign.us.up). So alright, Netflix, you got us – we’re up Schitt’s Creek without a paddle…and we’re very much okay with it.

Dickson’s Original Witch Hazel toner: When your skincare routine could be described by the shrugging emoji, you need all the help you can get. Did you know you’re apparently supposed to be using a toner in addition to all the night creams, serums, and moisturizers? (You probably did, good for you!). Witch-hazel is purported to be an excellent natural toner – It fights acne, nourishes dry skin, soothes sunburns, minimizes damage from the sun, fights signs of aging, etc… you know, basically everything one of those magical “wonder cures” for whatever ails your face.

Today Will Be Different by Maria Semple: Looking for a hilarious read with a lot of heart? We recommend Maria Semple’s (The smart, funny lady behind Where’d You Go, Bernadette and This One is Mine) latest novel. It chronicles a day in the life of Eleanor Flood, a relatable mess of a human who is just attempting to do the little things, but life, of course, has other plans. It’s dark, it’s funny, it’s basically everything we search for in a book.

Off the Shoulder tops: Maybe it’s the unseasonably warm weather talking, but we’ve been loving all things shoulder baring. From cut outs to Bardot-inspired tops, our collarbones and shoulders are having their moment in the February sun.

Timeless Timekeepers: It used to be that when it came to watches you had to choose between the traditional and technology, but what if we were to tell you that you could have your watch and wizardry too? The Fossil Q watch is basically the best of both worlds – it syncs with your phone, controls your music, keep an eye on your texts, tracks your steps and activity, and lets you tell time without looking like something out of a Dick Tracy comic. It’s a win/win, friends.

We’re Most Definitely Matte About It: Trends may come and go, but we’re pretty happy that matte lipstick is sticking around. Don’t get us wrong – satins are great, creams are swell, and a little gloss every now and then never hurt anybody. But mattes are where it’s at for these girls! Our fave formulas at the moment? The Smashbox Always On liquid lip and the Revlon Ultra HD Matte!

Your new favorite Spotify playlists: If you’re anything like us, you’ve been in the midst of your fourth Hamilton bingefest of the day and thought to yourself, “Man, I wish Lin-Manuel Miranda could just DJ my life or something”… Well, somebody has been reading our diary because that dream is no longer just a wish our hearts made. That’s right everyone’s favorite Pulitzer-Prize-winning-so-close-to-an-EGOT-having genius has blessed us all with the greatest life soundtrack  (didn’t we tell you dreams come true?).