Wednesday is always an extra busy day for me. There’s just something about the middle of the week that demands MOAR productivity. Here’s what’s on the docket for today:
- Curl up under my desk for a nap.
- Walk into a coworker’s cubicle and stare them in the eye while I knock their coffee mug off their desk.
- Climb to new heights… then knock things off of them.
- Curl up on top of my desk for a nap.
- Wait for everyone to get super quiet and productive, then wander through the office screaming for absolutely no reason.
- Find a box. Sit in it.
- Impress everyone with my mad yoga skills.
- Walk across a coworker’s keyboard. Preferably while they are using it. Then curl up on top of it for a nap.
- Knock things over in the kitchen and wait for people to come running. Then walk away laughing.
- Make my personal hygiene everyone’s business.
- Stretch out in the middle of a high traffic area and refuse to move when people approach. Bat at their feet when they try and step over me.
- Find a quiet corner of the building where no one will find me. Curl up and take a nap.
- Tell people I want hugs. This is a lie, I do not want hugs. I want blood. Foolish rubes.
- Complain that I’m starving and will surely perish if someone does not feed me immediately. Walk away the moment the food is plated. I don’t need their timetable.
- Jump on the counters. Glare and scurry away when I get yelled at for it.
- Find a recently vacated chair, stick a flag in it, and claim it for my own. What’s that, you were only up to get a drink of water? Too bad, buckaroo. This is MY chair now. Curl up and take a nap.
Quite the schedule, no? With all of this stuff on my plate, I think I’m going to need a nap.